Of Apple Ciders and Maple Syrup

theory of diminishing marginal emotions

2005-01-29T23:21:00.000-08:00

which is true: absence makes the heart grow fonder or absence makes the heart forget?

my theory on diminishing marginal emotions says that both are true, but do not occur simultaneously. that is, the transition from growing fonder to forgetting happens when marginal emotion or the derivative of emotion over time is equal to 0.

take for example the chocolate cake. after c1 or the first consumption, the individual will want more. hence, the marginal utility (MU) increases. but then, it will come to a point when MU=0. empirically, the individual had too much of ice cream that he does not get extra benefits from consuming it. after this point, MU decreases, or the individual gets negative benefits from consuming chocolate cake.

this is true also in absence. after separation, there is yearning. and the more that one is deprived, the more one will crave. but a certain point will be reached wherein all resources have been exhausted, and the individual then gets nothing in yearning. since it is a learned behaviour too--to live without the other person--the heart will soon forget.. until the point when no emotion, positive or negative is ever solicited from the absence of someone special.

that is why absence makes the heart grow fonder... only to a certain point. what happens afterwards is the start of history. everyone gets over someone--this is for certain. what differs is the length of time the individual will get zero in his/her marinal emotion. the higher the increments of yearning, the faster it is to recover. but, if you take it one tiny step at a time to savor the moment of absence, you will end up recovering slower (e.g. graph is much steeper).

note: they may have different views, but amazing to discover how the different sciences intertwine in our own lives...

theory of parallel communication

2005-01-29T22:20:00.000-08:00

since i don't have anything to do today, and since my invisible boyfriend is invisible as usual, i'll impart the theories i have loosely constructed in mind... a theory about parallel communication.

parallel communication is a state wherein communication lines do not cross. in short, i am saying one thing, while he is saying another, or vice versa. this situation is the most difficult to resolve especially when, after the event that a parallel communication occurs, no effort to correct is exerted. here, both parties will experience random delusions and eventually, resentment. however, if this occurs almost everday, the pain of resentment might cause the aggravated party to eventually raise the white flag.

let's use the science of emotions to give proof to my theory. after miscommunication happens, the thalmus will relay sensory information to the amygdala (a site of basic emotional memory) and to the cortex where cognition occurs. the stimuli will then go to the hippocampus, a site involved in memory and linked to the amygdala. this means that there is more than one route to emotional learning, hence, emotional response may begin in the amygadala before we are even aware of what we are feeling or reacting.

my point is, if parallel communication is not remedied immediately, the individual may unconsciously adapt to this situation. emotional reactions and emotional memories are formed without any conscious and cognitive participation at all. that is, the response to this becomes learned that further miscommunications will solicit immediate responses that may be sometimes negative.

this situation is catastrophic to romantic relationships. individuals may end up saying something they do not actually mean to say. but whose to blame? the amygdala or emotional memory has already been overloaded with recurring memories of parallel communication, hence the response is immediate... negative... scarred...

this theory however is not universal. people respond differently to certain stimulus--a product perhaps of diverse realities. but it is important to note that even if our realities differ, there is a point where our reactions criss-cross... and we all find ourselves understanding one another's realities... and finding is theory correct after all.

untitled

2005-01-11T03:49:00.001-08:00

i haven't seen you in months
i have seen a new moon, but not you
i have seen sunrises and sunsets, but nothing of your beautiful face...
the pieces of my broken heart are so small they could be passed through the eye of a needle...
i miss you like the sun misses the flower
and like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter... instead of beauty to direct its light to ... the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to...
but hope guides me... it is what guides me through the day, and specially in the night
the hope that after you've gone from side it will not be the last time i look upon you...
but until then, with all the love that i possess i remain yours...the knight of your heart....
:p

this poem means more to me than any poem in the world. i do not know the real story behind this, but if it was written by the one man i love so much, i couldn't care less...

making it a little less ordinary

2004-11-10T01:05:00.000-08:00

my tuesday was like any ordinary day. i woke up late so i wasn't able to attend my first two classes (which is not unusual...). i had lunch at the apartment but it was too quiet, no soul such as mine could last a second. i attended my afternoon class, had my cigarette break, sipped a glass of mango shake, went to Oz to meet my sisses... had another stick again, and again...

but beneath my seemingly ordinary day are random thoughts of him. my arven... each day, he means more to me than the last (too sweet a realization, too difficult to say). when im with him, the troubles and worries of hard days melt and the world, no matter how cruel seems a little gentler. the way he held my hands, the comfort of walking with him and sharing my dreams... the feel of his embrace, his kindness and supposedly apathetic nature, his silly comments and sometimes stern expression... his friendship and simple nothings that give my a heart a little leap... his kisses... it's just too good to be true... too many to share to the world...

but in my state of mind, these are enough to make my day a little less ordinary...